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Christine Gets a Job and then Gives it Back

“The road to hell is paved with good intentions”, is a popular phrase because it’s true.
Sometimes, no matter how much we try, shit just doesn’t pan out the way we intended.  Such is the story of my most recent adventure.

I Got a Job

My first actual “job” in two decades. You know, the kind where other people want to know where you are and what you’re doing… yeah, weird.  What surprised me most, is that I was enjoying myself. It was a sales job – I’ve been in sales my whole life, so that was comfortable, but it was selling advertising, which is a different animal. Entirely. And it’s expensive advertising.  As a matter of fact, that’s what I heard from every person that I encountered.  Still, it’s a beautiful publication and I thought that if anyone could figure it out, it would be me.

Setting appointments was easy – I had one set for my third day on the job and I had two a day the second week, which I was told was optimal.  I couldn’t, however, get any of them closed on the first visit.  Seven weeks in, with still nothing contracted, my draw was suspended.  I was told that I was welcome to continue, but they wouldn’t pay me anymore until I had a signed contract.  That’s understandable – as a business I might do the same.  But everything was so subjective and arbitrary, there was no consistency to what I was told and I was informed that I would no longer receive a draw, the day that they stopped my draw.  Not a great way to treat people, but it is what it is.

Still, I continued to go on the appointments that I had scheduled. And still – no one was buying.  Today, exactly one week later, I had the last appointment that I intend to go on. This particular prospective client decided to do a trial of another service and while he still wanted to move forward with me, he wouldn’t be able to until August.  I left his office deflated, to say the least. I came home, put on comfortable clothes and started to panic.  A dear friend called me and I told her my tale of woe.  As usual, she was able to point out the obvious to me.

This Was Not a Good Fit for Me

Even at the interview, I was told that I didn’t look the part.  I guess my hair is too wild, and long, oh.. and grey.  There’s a lot of grey in my hair – I stopped dying it two years ago.  I was informed that my clothes were too casual. I didn’t let that deter me – I thought I wanted this job (I didn’t).  What I wanted was the experience, although I didn’t know that at the time.  I like people. I like to meet people and find out what they’re doing and why they’re doing it.  I like to learn about their hopes, and their dreams, their plans and their schemes. I like being outside, not cooped up in an office all day.  I like solving problems for people. Which brings me full circle. That’s what I’ve done, in business for myself, for years.

I Just Lost My Way for a While

Sometimes we get caught up in our own drama.  We can lose sight of what we’re trying to accomplish.  Hell, sometimes I forgot who I even was.  But. I remember now. I remember who I am and why I’m here. Does that mean I don’t need to get another job?  Not necessarily.  But I know more about what I need to align with.  Who I need to align with.  As with most things, I’m grateful for the experience but I’m also grateful for its end.

So, Now What?

I just move forward.  It’s the only thing any of us can do, really. Put one foot in front of the other, and hope that the next adventure is a little bit more comfortable than this last one.