How’s your self esteem? Mine is very fluid. Somedays I feel like I could conquer the world. Other days I feel like I have nothing to offer to the world. That may sound extreme, but I also have a mood disorder that leans toward that. Even with medication, I can still swing wildly between the two. It’s complicated to navigate and sometimes I fail, miserably. However, I am able to give myself some grace when it’s needed.
I hide it Well
When I first met my partner, it was through performing and I was performing a lot. He truly thought that my self esteem was through the roof and was shocked to find out just how fragile it is. Someone said something about me that shattered me even though I couldn’t care less about said person, but just the thought of someone saying something like that in public, to other people who knew me, sent me into a spiral. So why did he believe that I was that confident? Because I’m a great believer in “Fake it ’til you make it.”
Another friend said, “I don’t know how you make those videos on social media, I’m not confident enough to do that.” The fact is, neither am I, all the time. Although I may be smiling in the camera, there are times when I’m shaking in my boots.
So, what Can You do?
Show up. The more often I show up, the better it gets. It’s almost like a muscle memory – some things that used to make me super nervous, are almost second nature to me and rarely give me pause. It’s not 100%, but it gets better all the time. Another thing I like to do, is push my boundaries, step out of my comfort zone, so to speak.
This week I’m doing something that I’ve never done before, publicly and I am very, very nervous. “Who am I to do this?” “Nobody wants to hear what I have to say.” “Who do you think you are?” Those are some of the thoughts that run through my head. My plan, though is to push through it and just do the thing.
How about you?
Do you struggle with self esteem? How do you deal with it? Are there any tips that you have to share to get through this? I’d love to hear about it.
And please join me on Friday November 17, 2023 at 7PM EST on YouTube. I’ll be discussing this live and doing some free Tarot readings. I’d love to see you there.