Every year we talk about what we’ve accomplished in the past year, what we’re going to accomplish in the next, but what about those times where you feel like completely reinventing yourself? Have you experienced that? I know I have. As my children were getting older and getting ready to go off on their own, I had to face the idea that I was in a toxic marriage and needed to get out. Clearly, I’d known for decades, but now it was time. I had been a homeschooling mom, I’d had some success in running online business, I was a web developer, and even had a property management company for a couple of year before the “bubble burst”. None of those roles seemed to fit me anymore

So Now What?

I knew that this would require more than just an end of year review. I needed an entire overhaul. But how? What did I need to do to make this change? What did I even want? Those were the million dollar questions. Here’s what I knew:

• That I had put down music decades before and I wanted to incorporate that back into my life
• That I wanted to make a commitment to writing every day (or almost everyday)
• That my business needed to be a creative endeavor
• That I wanted to delve more into Tarot and Astrology (something I’d always been interested in, but never really studied)
• That I wanted to perform again (I didn’t know what that meant at this point)

How Do I start?

How I started was to write down all of those things and then think about what that actually meant to me and was I clear on what I wanted? The answer was no.

Ok, so I want to pick music up again? Did I want to join a band? Visit karaoke bars? Dust off my keyboard? What exactly did I want? The conclusion that I came to, was that I wanted to start singing again, I didn’t care whether that was open mics or karaoke. I also decided that I wanted to become a better piano player (I was never great, I just learned chords to accompany myself). I broke this down even further: First I signed up for some free classes at Berklee school of music, when I had finished them, I purchased advanced music theory, piano, and improvising with a band books. And I worked on them. That was probably the hardest part; actually doing the work.

Next, I decided to start participating in the open mics I was taking my daughter to. I truly couldn’t believe how much fun I was having. Hint: Pay attention to where you find joy, follow that. The more musicians I met, the more opportunities to perform showed up. I committed to open mics x times per month and piano practice x times a week (I’m not putting the actual number there as everyone has different time constraints). This eventually led to paid gigs, it’s a commitment, and one that changes with the seasons of my life, but most of the time, I love it.

This is how I break down all the dreams I have into actual goals. Name the goals, explore what that really means and then break it down even further. Do not break promises to yourself. Do what you commit to. If something comes up, and it will, reschedule that time into another slot in your planner.

Finally…

Don’t let the weight of other peoples’ judgement affect you. Learn to say, “Fuck What Other People Think”. They’re not living your life, they don’t know what your dreams are and maybe some of them don’t need to know.

If this resonates with you, please feel free to reach out and have a conversation about this.