I’ve been thinking…

It seems the lessons in my life for the past few years are about “letting go”.  I have been letting go of patterns, beliefs, behaviors and more than a few people; letting go of the idea that I need to look a certain way, or behave in a certain manner. Most of all, I have been letting go of what I thought my life was supposed to be. And just when I think I’ve let go of everything that I need or want to, something else pops up.  And you know what?  I’m grateful for it.

Recently, I had to let go of one more person in my life.  What I thought was a mutually beneficial relationship, turned out to be not that at all.  I really don’t have the inclination to be in a relationship where my words, my actions, my beliefs cause someone to feel like I’m personally attacking them. I’m done with people who think that the Universe revolves around them and absolutely everything that anyone does is in response to their person.  It’s ridiculous.

So what’s my lesson? Is there a lesson at all? Well yes, I believe there is. Do I have a tendency to think things are about me when that might not be true?  Ouch.  Yes. Do I rank myself as more important than others when it comes to my feelings and beliefs?  Not always, but there have been occasions.  As a matter of fact, any time I feel offended, or outraged, I have to look at the situation and make sure that my core values of decency and humanity were offended and not my ego.  You see, the ego will mess you up if you let it.

So now what? Now, I give myself permission to mourn.  And then I pick up and move forward, knowing that I did my best and that – wait for it… It’s not always about me.